Having spent the past seven years obtaining her Associates' degree in Digital Photography with a minor in Occupational Cutlery, Vernita felt, at long last, fully prepared with the skills necessary to pursue her life-long dream of being the first woman to photograph her own spleen.
After months of extensive research, hundreds of interviews and countless high-resolution photographs, Lucasta was nearing the completion of what she was certain would be her most successful how-to picture book yet, 387 Naughty Things to Do with Wax Vacs.
Quietly excusing herself during the intermission of Harold's service to visit the concession stand, Alvertis thought back to that romantic afternoon so long ago at Clarence's Wake-and-Bake Funerals, when she first helped him select a recycled bamboo pyre, order the linen-embossed invitations and choose the juggling entertainment for this very day.
Determined that something must be done regarding her propensity toward procrastination, Zenolia decided to form a collaborative to investigate the process of facilitating research to propose the possibility of initiating a formal petition for the sole purpose of finding a solution... first thing next Tuesday, right after lunch, weather permitting.
Although not as limber as she once was, Domineenia would happily heed the call of her townsfolk whenever she was honored with playing lead in their annual Grindleswine Cheese Dance of Love, a ritual of intricate gymnastic movements skillfully performed at dusk on the sixth Tuesday of March, while precariously perched naked atop the Double Decker burger of the local Bob's Big Boy sign.
After years of exhaustive research, Solveinia was at last ready to publish her findings on Oppositional Delusional Premature Nervous Anticipation Pruritoceptive Disorder (ODPNAPD), that rarest of dysfunctions involving anxiety toward imaginary fears of resisting one's own nonexistent thoughts, resulting in widespread itching and a propensity for after-dinner snacking.
Content with what others would likely describe as a humdrum existence, Salome filled her days with all the activities that pleased her most: weekly yodeling lessons, Tuesday dinners with Randall, the local Amish Electrician, and cataloguing her impressive collection of celebrity training bras.
Though amply stocked with a delectable assortment of exquisitely prepared confections and pastries, nearly everyone who regularly patronized Chester's Bakery of Doom was there for the sole purpose of procuring their famous Depression-era Chocolate Butterscotch Cookies, freshly made with sweet creamery butter and generously glazed with almond-flavored Milk of Magnesia.
Knowing that the presentation of a gift is paramount in conveying the sincerity of giving, Eulalie added a more personal touch to all those certificates for Ye Olde Chainsaw Shoppe and Spa that she'd bestowed upon her friends by kiln-firing her own custom gift wrap.
Stranded at Dinklestern's County Airport and Mortuary due to weather delays and a sudden shortage of roasted peanuts, Dorinda found a quiet corner and, thankful for this unexpected opportunity to study for her upcoming certification, extracted her Wendy Welder's Travel Kit and that lucky Can-O-Slag she'd been saving for just this type of moment.
Prone to darker moods when the moon is full and her local donut shop has run out of chocolate-covered turnip crullers, Melvina decided to lift her spirits by spending the afternoon reading her most favored excerpts from The Psychology of Mostly Norwegian Ostriches and pondering whether - should the book ever be made into a movie - Brad Pitt would consider the enticing role of Ásbjorn, the elusive yet mysteriously handsome Struthio rancher.
Determined to resolve the conflict between her triplet cousins, Flem and Floy, through peaceful dialogue and reach an agreement, Herlinda suggested that they consider settling the issue of precisely where to have lunch over a spirited game of her variation on the childhood classic, Rock-Paper-Butane.