3/31/14

Known throughout the industry as Le Grand Nez, not many would ever suspect that Petronillia, Royal Perfumist and architect of the world's most presumptuous scents including Pomegranate Vomit Number 7 and Jubilant Ambiguity, was actually a closet Anosmic, the result of an unfortunate childhood toilet brush incident.

10/25/13


Overwhelmed by the responsibility and constant fame of serving as Pettybum's official town tailor, Dorberteenia left it all behind, choosing instead to combine her sewing talents with more philanthropic endeavors to hand-craft hankies for the noseless.

9/10/13

Once limited to her home's first floor due to a paralyzing case of climacophobia, Zita triumphantly circumnavigated her fear of stairs by installing a Ferris wheel, thereby gaining access to her second-floor bedroom and Chester, her pet boar, whom she had not seen in nearly seven years.

9/4/13

Since having announced her lucrative deal during last month's All-You-Can-Eat Buffet at Ye Olde Bait and Lingerie Shoppe, Erentrude has been widely ridiculed for publishing her book, a sordid biography detailing the Not-So-Merry Adventures of Robin's second cousin on his sister-in-law's side, Frank Hood.

8/31/13

Following an extensive stay at Swigglebum's Center for Rehabilitation and Tofu, Euphemia was ready to testify, before her closest friends and family, of her long-held addition and shameful behavior, publicly vowing never again to prey upon, illegally procure or otherwise abuse perfectly innocent exclamation marks.

8/26/13

After years of self doubt, extensive therapy and a final trip to the tailor's to collect her custom-made super cape, Aphonsia felt, at long last, ready to reveal to the world her miraculous ability to teleport herself to and from the exact same location - far more quickly than can be seen by the naked eye.

8/5/13

After conducting more than two hundred in-person interviews and verifying thousands of facts over the course of six grueling years - including nine months spent in the top-secret archives of post-Soviet Russia - Lawanda was at last ready to submit the manuscript of her latest work, a scathing, highly controversial tell-all entitled Bullwinkle: the Secret Life Behind the Legend.

8/2/13

Late at night, after having done the dishes and walked Robert, her pet cricket, Marishinnia would ponder her humdrum job at the Monotony factory and dream that she might, one day, leave it behind for the more adventurous career of a Conjugation Coach.

7/9/13

Despite the low attendance and general lack of interest, Llewellyn enthusiastically cheered her employees and their guests for their participation - and physical restraint - in this, her company's fourth annual Take your Ex-Wife To Work Day.

7/3/13

Given her keen insight on seldom known facts of farming machinery and her remarkable knowledge of second-century Tongan literature, it surprised no one that Yessenia's most recent book, Not-So-Famous Quotes About Forklifts, quickly took over the number 235 spot on Thistlebum's Pretty Okay Books to Read list.

6/6/13

Having spent the past seven years obtaining her Associates' degree in Digital Photography with a minor in Occupational Cutlery, Vernita felt, at long last, fully prepared with the skills necessary to pursue her life-long dream of being the first woman to photograph her own spleen.

5/6/13

After months of extensive research, hundreds of interviews and countless high-resolution photographs, Lucasta was nearing the completion of what she was certain would be her most successful how-to picture book yet, 387 Naughty Things to Do with Wax Vacs.